


of boys and kisses

by orphan_account



Category: Homestuck, Homestuck 2, Homestuck Epilogues
Genre: Abandoned Work - Unfinished and Discontinued, M/M, Trans Jake English, i take extreme liberties with the hs epilogues, nonbinary Terezi pyrope, oriented aroace Jake also, transmasc roxy, uhh you get the gist
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-10
Updated: 2019-12-10
Packaged: 2021-02-25 23:26:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,049
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21743716
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Sexuality crisis aside, you are afraid it might be Vriska.
Relationships: Jake English & Roxy Lalonde, Jake English/Roxy Lalonde
Comments: 2
Kudos: 10





	of boys and kisses

**Author's Note:**

> this is another one of my older hs fanfics, it's unfinished but its good? i guess?

GT: Ill have you know im doing just fine thank you!  
TG: no you ARENT  
TG: you left dirks & johns early you NEBER to that  
TG: *NEVER  
TG: jakeee please talk to meee  
TG: we both know u didnt want you leave they never let anyone in their house its like  
TG: a shitty secret club house foe mlm ppl and on occasion wlw  
TG: *for  
GT: Well! Im still not talking about it.  
TG: you feel lonely?  
GT: I...  
TG: i know you do! youve been isolating yourself and the 1 time you come out of a hiding hole is likee  
TG: now!!  
GT: Can we talk about this in person?

You have zero clue how you're gonna do that.  
Your name is JAKE ENGLISH. And you've been going through a rough time lately, alright? It's tough, when you're supposed to be a God and you also have a lot of things on your plate. That rough time was induced by one DIRK STRIDER, without meaning to, of course. He was just talking about his and your transitions, and how that went because of your body types. Now Dirk is by no means skinny, he's basically the same weight as his Brother, Dave, who's basically the same weight as you. You're all fat trans men, so what?  
You like being a bear! Its fine. You find it attractive on other people. You DATED Dirk, and he's tall and lanky but he sure as hell isn't skinny. Your brother, John, he's the same body type as you. So is Jade. It's OBVIOUSLY a genetic thing you can do nothing about.  
Why do you find it attractive on other people but not on YOU?  
This has lead you to the goddamn shitty ass feeling of being jealous of your friend, Roxy.  
They're skinny, or relatively so. Their transition, even though they don't "pass" as a man, is not going to change their body and guess what! YOU'RE jealous of that.  
GOD. This is stupid.

TG: yeah ofc  
TG: ill be right there

You are ROXY LALONDE, although that name is a work in progress.

ROXY: yeah gotta go boysss

Dirk, who has his boyfriend fast asleep on him, due to the fact its late as shit, perks up.

DIRK: Why? You know how much Blueberry puts into this. Jake already left-  
ROXY: why do you call him that  
ROXY: its sooo  
ROXY: unlike u

Dirk pauses for a moment, and you can swear you can see a blush on his face.

DIRK: ...Because he likes it. And I love him.

There's a pause.

DIRK: Regardless you're avoiding the question.

In response you blow a kiss to him and John, and turn to go leave.

The night sky is glimmering with stars. Tonight is just as any other, but it feels different. Maybe it is. If this night was laid bare in a grand view of every single night of your life it would probably be miniscule. But maybe every night, regardless of its importance would be miniscule. You don't know, really.  
On the ride to Jake’s grand treehouse, just outside of the city, you think about these important things and less important things, and then you arrive.

While you wait for Roxy, you’ve been making yourself hot chocolate and watching movies, one of which being troll Indiana Jones, while not being as good as human Indiana Jones, (although you're biased as hell with your special interest) is still okay. You get a notification when your phone dings:

TG: im hereee

You look like a mess, though!  
Well, whatever! Doesn't matter. You’ll look like a mess even if you don't in the beginning eventually regardless.

JAKE: Hi.  
ROXY: yeah. hey  
JAKE: I-  
JAKE: really want you to come in!

Roxy laughs, and it's the goddamn nicest thing ever. You love making your friends happy, you love when they laugh, but there’s something nicer about Roxy’s. Maybe it's because he makes you feel good. That would make sense.  
Roxy is… how do you describe it? Beautiful? You don't really think you're using pretty in context Dirk or someone else would. You’ve never really gotten ahold of romantic attraction, as a concept. But Roxy makes you feel like you could understand it. Probably. Maybe. Most of your romantic endeavours didn't really, turn out well, because you couldn't place your own emotions and you felt a NEED to. Maybe that was one of many problems.  
You're walking in with him now and you don't feel better, but at least you feel safe. You offer him hot chocolate, he accepts. It’s still warm and you almost forget about how you look like a mess with no binder on. Almost.

ROXY: okay jakey  
ROXY: wtf this is abt  
JAKE: I-  
JAKE: do you mind if we don't talk about this, first thing?  
JAKE: It’s rough to spring this on! Especially when i tried to get away from this bloody problem.

The problem is right here. Both sitting in front of you, and sitting inside you.

ROXY: thats fair i dont rlly want to pressure u  
ROXY: u know im here for u right?  
JAKE: Of course!  
JAKE: I just want to sit and talk with my friend! With hot chocolate and be-  
JAKE: cozy? Is that the word?  
ROXY: i can TOTALLY fuckin go 4 that dude  
ROXY: lets cozy it up

With that, they switch seats to sit next to you, leaning on you. Roxy is warm. Warm and safe. They spread out the blanket on both of you, that you handed to them, which was next to you. You can feel their sweater against the fabric of your pajamas, they aren't wearing a binder either, which makes you feel better about not wearing one. You two sit and relax and talk about meaningless stuff- John and Dirk’s relationship, how Roxy’s sister, Rose, had gotten married earlier on in the year, in summer. It's nice. It's so nice you almost fall asleep.

ROXY: do you see urself getting married at all?  
JAKE: Wowie, that is a tough question to ask a man out of nowhere.  
JAKE: Maybe!  
ROXY: yeah same here  
ROXY: itd b nice tho  
ROXY: kan and rose had a cool ass weddin  
ROXY: sometimes i wish i could just  
ROXY: have that  
JAKE: Ha! Yeah.  
JAKE: Being that emotionally close with someone is…  
JAKE: something that should be cherished. Too bad im not too good at that kind of thing!  
ROXY: you could b  
ROXY: i believe in u bro  
JAKE: That means a lot to me.  
ROXY: nowww  
ROXY: tell me whats brotherin you,,  
JAKE: Aw, you emotionally lathered me up and now im gonna cater to your whims! Gadzooks, you have been hanging out too much with your family!  
ROXY: absolutely, u love my family.  
JAKE: I do, fortunately!  
ROXY: now tell me whats wrong bb  
JAKE: I guess.  
JAKE: Im jealous?  
ROXY: of what  
JAKE: Your body.

Jake’s warm body is against yours, but you can't seem to focus on that anymore.

ROXY: what?  
ROXY: jake  
ROXY: jake you-  
ROXY: youre stunning.  
ROXY: i can guess why you feel that way-  
ROXY: but seriously.  
ROXY: if anyones handsome here its you.

You look at all of Jake, he’s blushing, you register that. But you also register how beautiful he is, and how soft and warm and comforting everything about him is. He looks like he's art, even though nobody paints people like him.

JAKE: Thank- thank you!

His voice is muffled by his hands now, and his blush has spread to his ears and everything about him is perfect, and you want to show him that.

ROXY: hey  
JAKE: hey  
ROXY: can i like

Roxy pauses for a moment, and every part of you in on edge.

ROXY: can i  
ROXY: kiss you?

Yes.

JAKE: Yes.

And its happening and every part of you that was on edge jumps when your lips make contact with this and he pulls away and-

ROXY: was  
ROXY: was that good

You break out into a huge smile and start to laugh and your hands on on their face and-

JAKE: It was amazing!

Roxy laughs and they're kissing you again, this time all over your face, and it feels amazing and you two are just sitting there and it feels like it could last forever.

And for now, it does.

PAGE 2

ROXY: soooo

You are JAKE ENGLISH, and this is your- something- ROXY LALONDE. They're laying on top of your chest now, after kissing your face over and over, a fact you cannot get over, and it feels like you never will.

ROXY: i ASSUME were boyfriends now??

Hm. You’ll have to think on that one. On one hand, absolutely. On other, OH FUCKING GEE WILICKERS YOU ARE NOT PREPARED FOR THAT AT ALL. You have no idea how to express this internal conflict. You want Roxy, in the way he wants you. 100%. Right now, that is the only thing you think you're sure of.

JAKE: I- I actually dont really know!  
ROXY: whadda mean  
JAKE: I have a lot! Of things! Going on!

You gesture to your brain.

JAKE: Up here!  
JAKE: And while I want what you want! I dont think i can fully commit? to that?  
ROXY: so ur saying you want to go slow

Of course. There was an absolutely normal way to express that that didn't fully register to you. You see how it is.

JAKE: YES.  
JAKE: YEAH THAT.  
ROXY: cool beanss bro

Roxy grabs your hand, something akin to a gentleman charming a young man/woman, and kisses it like you're an old timey prince. You love it.  
Can he stay over? You wanna cuddle him like this forever. Maybe sleep in your bed with him if he’s okay with it. God, that’d be nice. You hadn’t realized how much you loved/missed affection until now.

JAKE: Can you stay over?

Roxy’s face is so nice as they break out in a huge smile, and laugh! MAN this is great you just hit the goddamn jackpot.

ROXY: yes!! ofc!!  
ROXY: i want that SO bad jake!!  
ROXY: as long as you let me sleepp in ur bed ;)

They do a cheesy wink after that, and it’s amazing because you love cheesy. And you like them.

JAKE: Oh!! Absolutely!  
JAKE: As you wish.

An equally cheesy wink at your new boyfriend! You're doing freakin’ amazing at this already.  
(The Princess Bride is probably the only movie you haven’t been completely trashed for liking.)

After Roxy stays over, and goes back home, you've got a gosh darn plan.

EB: you want me to come over to talk about my “experience with sexuality”  
EB: you realize im not who you should want to get help from right  
EB: ask dave dude!!  
GT: With all due respect hes got a lot goin on there, John.  
GT: Youre clearcut!! And for gods sake i need one thing in my life to be clearcut. Ill handle the rest later!  
EB: okay, fair. this was the reason you left. i have to help you so you never leave a movie night again. i will force you to stay there.  
EB: can i at least bring a troll over? itll be fun! to yknow! get their perspective on things  
EB: my one condition! promise.  
GT: It would be splendid to have their cultural influences.  
EB: heck yessssssss  
GT: Not Vriska.  
EB: not vriska. got it!

Sexuality crisis aside, you are afraid it might be Vriska.  
You set up a date and time, wait until that hour, and open the door to see your brother, John, and a short fat troll with curly hair in the style of an undercut, freckles and piercing almost cat eye glasses. The troll speaks first:

???: SUP N3RD  
JOHN: hi jake!!!  
JOHN: this is our troll informant: terezi pyrope!! (any pronouns)  
TEREZI: 1M H3R3 TO B3 YOUR G3ND3R 4ND S3XU4L1TY CO4CH  
TEREZI: L1ST3N TO M3 CLOS3LY,  
TEREZI: NON3 OF 1T IS R34L 4NYW4YS SO WHY BOTH3R >:)

Oh Man, you cannot emphasize how much Terezi looks so fucking fun. They just made a face that makes them look like a Gremlin. It's amazing.

JAKE: Oh this might actually be fun! You two look like fine folks. Come in!


End file.
